Thursday, May 17, 2012

Avoiding the Friend Zone

Nothing is more terrible than being friends with your dream guy/girl and someone else steals their heart. If a person can't master the art of attraction they are doomed to be overlooked by the opposite sex time and time again. Getting out of the friend zone is accomplished by breaking bad dating patterns. It takes some work but the rewards are well worth it! 

*Cardinal Rule #2 Don't be in the Friend Zone*

This problem has deep roots in our society, heck there's a wonderfully hilarious movie, Just Friends, that revolves around it. Countless songs, shows, and movies tackle this issue. BECAUSE at one point or another we have or will experience the pain of being demoted to friend zone. Most people will live the pain in their early youth while they are still maturing. But for the unlucky few, the problem won't disappear when the hormones stop raging. Sometimes it can take one bad break-up, later in life, to make a person lose their way down this dead-end road. But fortunately, there is a cure! Oprah and Tyra! Just joking. But yes a little self help and self discovery is all that a person needs to get back on the right track and away from being overlooked by the opposite sex. 

Reasons why people fall into the Loveless Hell Hole

1. Insecurity. Such an ugly word, but yes a person who doesn't step up to the plate is dealing with issues which keep them rooted in a loveless limbo. Insecurity can stem from inexperience, immaturity, past rejection/failure, and uncertainty of one's path. 

2. Self Defense. It's 'safer' to not take the chance, make yourself noticed, and or heard by the object of your affection. Never taking the risk means never getting hurt, and thus it's a safer zone. It's a cowardly move people use to avoid the pitfalls of living life. 

3. Push Over. I can't emphasize this enough but people who don't stand up for themselves are doomed to be trampled on their entire lives. Being assertive is far more attractive than being submissive to the opposite sex. 

4. Fear. People are afraid to put their emotions/heart/love out there. Fear of rejection can be a powerful thing. And fear alone can prevent a person from snagging a wonderful bf/gf/wife/husband. 

5. Lack of Confidence. Some people take until college to build up their confidence, some sooner, and some much later. But the opposite sex can smell the lack of confidence from a mile away. It's one of the biggest turn-offs and deal breakers!

How To Get OUT of the Friend Zone!!!!

1. Wake up every day envisioning yourself as someone the opposite sex would KILL to date. As you're brushing your teeth say to yourself 'I'm Hot, no SEXY, that loser across the hall doesn't stand a chance if I walk in the room'. Pump yourself up before you know you'll meet and talk to the opposite sex. Play that Britney Spears or Lady Gaga song that drives up your confidence. 

2. Be bold. Don't be shy about standing out or saying how you feel. Even if you sound like a complete dork at least you will come off as a confident dork. And some dork in that party will dig it :) haha. 

3. Be humorous. Nothing is sexier or more proof of confidence than a witty/funny person. 

4. Focus on your strengths and improve your weaknesses. If you are an excellent chef, smart, great basketball player, and etc capitalize on that. Take pride in what you excel at and don't be afraid to show off a little to the boys or ladies. They will secretly dig it, if it's just subtle enough. And in areas that need work find people who are experts. Talk to them, watch them, and learn. Just improving a little will boost your confidence. And your crush will notice!

5. Become less available to your crush (if you have been overlooked for awhile). You may have been at their every beck and call BUT that was the old you. New you is sexy and AWESOME. The new you is the person the crush will be asking their other unfortunate 'friend zone victims' about. 

6. Identify why you put yourself in the friend zone. Have serious heart to hearts with yourself to understand where this came from. And once you find the source/sources work to resolve and improve it. Having issues isn't a sign of weakness but not facing them is! If some of the issues are too hard to work on by yourself don't be ashamed about talking to a therapist. 

7. Put yourself first. If you are a good girl/guy DON'T be too nice. If you allow the other person to walk all over you they will lose respect. Gain your respect back. It's not about being an asshole but having self respect. A girl/guy will continue to treat you badly if you allow them to. Of course they shouldn't abuse you, but people will take advantage of a very nice person. Even friends and family will. So be assertive in every aspect of your life and in every relationship!

8. Be mysterious. Don't make it obvious that you are crazy about your crush. Make them wonder a little. Make them see that there's more to you than meets the eye. 

9. Practice, practice, practice. If you haven't mastered the art of avoiding the sink hole of the friend zone it's probably good to get some experience. It would be good to take advantage of guy/girl nights out for test runs. Get your confidence up by putting your moves to the test. Try new approaches, take suggestions, and be inventive. See what fits you and then perfect. Something doesn't work, brush it off and try something else. 

10. Believe. Have faith that you can overcome anything that you put your mind to. Same thing goes for being negative. If you believe you are a loser, then you probably will be. The mind is a powerful thing, don't underestimate what you can overcome or achieve. If you don't believe in yourself then you will set yourself up for a long life of unhappiness. 

*no sources were used in the making of this post except photos from Yahoo*


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