Thursday, May 31, 2012

Why Women Love Jerks

The mystery of all mysteries; why women love jerks. It's as confusing and frustrating for the women as it is for the nice guys. The qualities that women want/need don't always match up to what they pick in life. Guys need to give girls a break because it takes experience and maturity for 'anyone' to find their right path. Men complain incessantly that all women love the jerks, but all men are attracted to the simple-minded hot girls. The two problems are roots from the same tree. A woman is attracted to a jerk the same way a guy is attracted to a gorgeous girl. So, the next time a guy complains about women always dating douches, remind them they are attracted to beautiful bimbos as well. 

I know a lot of friends who never struggled with liking the bad boys, but they must have super powers or something (right!). For many of us, we were launched into the dating world with little knowledge to arm us. But we can't learn the big lessons vicariously through others, it takes our own experiences to mature and grow as individuals. So, my point is that dating the bad boys is part of our path to our ultimate dream man. BUT don't make it a habit to only date bad boys, because at some point you become a 'jerk addict'. There isn't a rule of thumb to measure if a woman is just innocently dabbling with bad boys or dangerously hooked. Only a woman can know for herself if she is experimenting or flailing. 

My post is in defense of all women who have dated or are currently dating a jerk. There are many reasons why women are very attracted to jerks. But with maturity and experience a woman will find she needs more from a man than a jerk can provide. Just the same way men discover that pretty faces with hollow heads aren't someone they can spend their life with. 

What is Attractive about Jerks?
1. The relationship is highly addictive. The highs are extremely high and the lows are debilitatingly low. She loves the roller coaster ride she gets with being with a man whom she can't predict and can't control. The same addiction can be seen with drug addicts and gamblers. The problem is different but the concept is the same. If you find yourself bored by 'nice guys' it's probably because you want the thrill of the chase and the uncertainty of his love. 

2. They come off as confident and dominant. Two qualities that women instinctively look for in a mate. But not all jerks are truly confident, but even the pseudo-confidence is enough to swoon a woman. A woman wants a man who will stand up to her and not be submissive. And jerks will never be doormats. 

3. The Challenge. A woman loves wondering and thinking about another man. A jerk can keep a woman's attention for long periods of time because he poses a conundrum to her. This is especially attractive to beautiful girls who are used to guys falling all over them. Our brains interpret anything that isn't easy to obtain as something worth securing and keeping. 

4. Women fall for personalties not bodies. Sure a Brad Pitt will win the ladies but if he has an unattractive personality he won't be successful. A man will see a beautiful woman and fall in love but a woman falls for the personality. A jerk may possess some of these qualities that are seductive to women (dangerous, alpha male, charming, high social intelligence, thrill seeking, rebel, confident, independent, and unattainable). 

How to graduate from Jerks
1. Time and experience. It may take only a few breakups or a few years for a woman to learn what she truly wants in a mate. A woman will eventually meet and interact with other men who possess the alluring qualities of a bad boy coupled with the good guy qualities.

2. Age and situation. In high school/college/twenties, women don't see anything wrong with dating a jerk. But as she enters her career and starts looking for a serious relationship; bad boys won't match up to her standards. The snide comments, drama, late night drinking, constant fights, lying, cheating, unsupportive partner, and so on will no longer hold it's appeal. But in her teens and twenties it was fun but now it's just wrong.

3. Therapy. For some girls who know they are jerk addicts, they need some help to get over bad relationships. There's an array of reasons a woman becomes an addict some include lack of love from parents, abuse, rejection from peers and opposite sex growing up, low self-esteem, and etc. 

4. Find the right guy. Enter knight on white horse! Sometimes it just takes meeting and dating the right man to cure a woman forever from her bad habits. It's the realization that one can get everything in a loving relationship without the negatives; it's the ultimate of 'ah ha' moments. 

For the 'Nice Guys'
1. Be more dominant. Don't be a doormat, stand up to women. They want someone to be their equal and take control sometimes. Stand up for yourself and she will respect you!

2. Don't be too easy. Make it a challenge for the women. Keep them guessing and they will continue to be attracted. If you make it too easy they will assume you aren't worth dating. 

3. Be patient. Understand that women fall for personalities not looks, so she won't necessarily be head over heels in the beginning. Even if you 'know' she's perfect for you don't be discouraged if it takes her longer to see you the same way. Don't smoother her but give her the space she needs to fall for you. 

4. Take the good qualities of a jerk plus your own! If you are more confident, dominant, and challenging PLUS everything that is you; you will be the ultimate man. If you are a good guy at heart and have the sexiness of a bad boy she won't be able to resist. Every woman wants a guy like this, not a jerk. 

5. Stop whining about women. Nice guys witness jerks and bad boys get the girl again and again. Stop being a wimp and jump into the game. Jerks are able to tap into what attracts women, but you can do the same thing without being a horrible person. And most importantly don't blame women for being attracted to something they can't control. You drool over supermodels and stunning women; we get enchanted by James Bond.

*No sources were used in the making of this post, images from Yahoo*

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

What We Really Think of Your Wedding

Community celebrations and family/friend reunions have drastically dwindled even in the face of wireless communication and advances in transportation. So today, weddings not only tie two people together but 'coerce' people to drop their work responsibilities/never ending excuses/hectic lives to come together. Weddings are better at bringing people together than high school reunions, birthdays, and funerals. Therefore, it's crucial for brides and grooms to put on a great wedding.

Weddings aren't just a time for celebration and memories but also a place for the event/couple evaluation. Like any social function, the hosts have the chance to show-off and gloat but also place themselves in the spotlight for scrutiny. And the sharpest critics in the crowd will be the unmarried women. Weddings bring an array of mixed feelings for them, and it all depends on the atmosphere of the event coupled with their current situation. But the bride and groom shouldn't feel overly self-conscious because people are also judging themselves at weddings. Weddings bring hidden feelings and thoughts to the forefront for unmarried women. So, this post is dedicated to all the unmarried women who participate/attend weddings and the ups and downs the celebration will bring!

What 20/30 something unmarried women are thinking about YOU and your wedding

1. If you're going to have a cheap wedding...elope or get married in Vegas. I'm going to have to order pizza and wine after this
2. The dress (does she look amazing or totally wrong)
3. This place is full of OLD PEOPLE - what the heck- why did I buy new shoes
4. Why wasn't I a bridesmaid? She picked her, really??!!!
5. One less friend to go hit the town with
6. She's/he's not even that GREAT!!!
7. Drinking orange juice, this is a Shotgun wedding! 
8. Never thought she would fall for a guy like him
9. Man why couldn't she have married a guy with hot friends
10. Wow can't believe she's throwing her career/ambitions away
11. I'm going to have a much better wedding
12. What they're religious? 
13. She's so pretty...I need to start working out and eating right
14. Oh sure the world revolves around getting the two of you hitched
15. Wow how much money did they spend on this wedding?
16. Her whole family is full of gorgeous people. Jealous all their pictures are going to be perfect
17. You're creepy uncle keeps watching me
18. You're a bridesmaid not a celebrity
19. I need to marry a rich man too...
20. Cheap champagne
21. Who was the wedding planner? I need their number
22. Photographers get out of my face!!
23. She better not fall off the map now that she's married
24. This is the BEST WEDDING EVER
25. They are perfect for each other

What she reflects about in this situation...
1. Ideas for their future wedding (flower arrangements, cake, gown, guest book, etc)
2. One less man in the dating pool gone FOREVER
3. Comparing her dating situation with the current 'fairytale' before her eyes (either she sees her jerk in a new light or her singledom as less attractive)
4. Apartment presents (perfect way to get all her dream dishes and kitchen appliances)
5. Reanalyzes her life (I still live with roommates/stuck in an internship/hasn't been on a vacation in years)
6. Romance is still alive, there's hope for me
7. My bf/fiance better be as sweet at my wedding as this groom!
8. Ex-boyfriend alert; dance with the hottest guy here
9. Ah yeah, I'm the hottest bridesmaid - this is my night
10. Where's my Mr. Big?
11. Umm I barely made it here on time; I'm definitely not ready to get married
12. Aw guys do have feelings
13. Stop trying to match me with a guy; I'm single not pathetic
14. That little girl better not get in my way of catching the bouquet
15. My grandma/grandpa will never see me get married
16. The only day out of the year, (besides Valentine's Day), people try making you feel bad for being single
17. Yes I'm successful and happy
18. I'm getting old!!!
19. I don't need a man I need another piece of the cake
20. She better help me at my wedding as much as I helped her
21. I don't know what to say for my speech at the reception
22. Totally worth dieting for two months prior
23. The bridesmaid dress makes me look fat in photos
24. Half the groomsmen are married...what the heck
25. I'll never find my Mr. Right!

How to make a 20/30 something woman love and enjoy YOUR wedding
1. Don't put your single girlfriends at the 'all singles table'. Mix them in with other tables. Otherwise they will feel singled out. 
2. Invite an array of age groups 
3. Put extra time into making the venue look spectacular. The place and atmosphere of the reception can be the reason for a flop or a hit
4. Organize group pictures with college/high school friends. That way they won't feel left out compared to the focus on family members
5. Try introducing people at the wedding to each other as much as possible. Especially those who only know a few people
6. Have a lot of food and alcohol. The worst thing that can happen is having leftovers!
7. Set up a table with pictures of you(bride and groom) with friends and family that are attending. That way it's not only about you and your husband but also about your relationships to the people in your life
8. Make sure everyone feels appreciated for traveling to your wedding and getting you a gift (no matter how little they spent on you)
9. Have a fun bachelorette party (don't need to go crazy but don't act like you're a nun)

*no sources were used in the making of this post, pictures from Yahoo*

Monday, May 21, 2012

Staying Clear of Summer Relationship Fizzle

CRAZY statistics that prove everyone's fears about certain times of the year for break-ups! I found an amazing website, mathiasmikkelsen, which displayed data from 10,000 facebook relationship status updates. The data could be argued to be skewed since it only takes into account facebook users, but it's still quite intriguing. I would love to see some more statistical analysis done on this subject!
The data above shows that:
1. Most breakups are spring break and right before the winter holidays
2. Christmas is the lowest day of break-ups! Well THANK goodness
3. Peaks in June and July
4. April Fool's Day. BUT facebookers were probably pulling pranks
5. Weeks leading up to Valentine's Day and the Day itself have high rates
6. Mondays are the most typical day of the week for a break-up to be announced
7. Low months are August, September, and October

So, I wrote this post because I'm newly embarking on a long distance relationship AND the summer months are approaching. Why do the summer months bring an upswing of break-ups and how does one avoid it?

Reasons for Summer Fizzle
1. Couples being apart in the summer months (school year is over and or summer job takes a person somewhere new)
2. More options are visible (meeting new people, guys with their shirts off, girls in bikinis)
3. Being single becomes more attractive (vacations, summer activities, parties)
4. Less fear of being alone (people are not isolated or housebound anymore, friends/family are more available)
5. Wedding Season (couples 'realistically or unrealistically' comparing themselves to the idealized married love-birds)

How to Beat the Statistics
1. Having a strong relationship going into the summer months is important. If there are any pressing issues talk about them! Discuss how to work through being apart in the summer, make a plan, and be supportive of each other.

2. Give your bf/gf some space/freedom. Let them go camping the the guys or go party with the girls. Holding them back may push them over the edge to throw you overboard.

3. Do summer activities together. Organize a camping trip with friends, hike to a hotsprings, buy tickets to a concert, go boating, and etc. Make your summer more fun than as it was when you were single.

4. Get into shape! Being in a relationship sometimes means gaining a few extra pounds instead of hitting the gym when you were single. Change that and make yourself look good for your lover. He/she will love showing you off at the bonfire!

5. Make special memories. Don't skimp on doing romantic things because routines have changed. Best part of the summer are the endless amounts of activities and adventures that can be experienced! Swim in the dark alone, make summer drinks together, gaze at the stars on the dock, cuddle up to the spectacular firework show on 4th of July.

*sources: 'Amazing Facts about Facebook and Break-ups' @ http://mathiasmikkelsen.com and yahoo images*

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Avoiding the Friend Zone

Nothing is more terrible than being friends with your dream guy/girl and someone else steals their heart. If a person can't master the art of attraction they are doomed to be overlooked by the opposite sex time and time again. Getting out of the friend zone is accomplished by breaking bad dating patterns. It takes some work but the rewards are well worth it! 

*Cardinal Rule #2 Don't be in the Friend Zone*

This problem has deep roots in our society, heck there's a wonderfully hilarious movie, Just Friends, that revolves around it. Countless songs, shows, and movies tackle this issue. BECAUSE at one point or another we have or will experience the pain of being demoted to friend zone. Most people will live the pain in their early youth while they are still maturing. But for the unlucky few, the problem won't disappear when the hormones stop raging. Sometimes it can take one bad break-up, later in life, to make a person lose their way down this dead-end road. But fortunately, there is a cure! Oprah and Tyra! Just joking. But yes a little self help and self discovery is all that a person needs to get back on the right track and away from being overlooked by the opposite sex. 

Reasons why people fall into the Loveless Hell Hole

1. Insecurity. Such an ugly word, but yes a person who doesn't step up to the plate is dealing with issues which keep them rooted in a loveless limbo. Insecurity can stem from inexperience, immaturity, past rejection/failure, and uncertainty of one's path. 

2. Self Defense. It's 'safer' to not take the chance, make yourself noticed, and or heard by the object of your affection. Never taking the risk means never getting hurt, and thus it's a safer zone. It's a cowardly move people use to avoid the pitfalls of living life. 

3. Push Over. I can't emphasize this enough but people who don't stand up for themselves are doomed to be trampled on their entire lives. Being assertive is far more attractive than being submissive to the opposite sex. 

4. Fear. People are afraid to put their emotions/heart/love out there. Fear of rejection can be a powerful thing. And fear alone can prevent a person from snagging a wonderful bf/gf/wife/husband. 

5. Lack of Confidence. Some people take until college to build up their confidence, some sooner, and some much later. But the opposite sex can smell the lack of confidence from a mile away. It's one of the biggest turn-offs and deal breakers!

How To Get OUT of the Friend Zone!!!!

1. Wake up every day envisioning yourself as someone the opposite sex would KILL to date. As you're brushing your teeth say to yourself 'I'm Hot, no SEXY, that loser across the hall doesn't stand a chance if I walk in the room'. Pump yourself up before you know you'll meet and talk to the opposite sex. Play that Britney Spears or Lady Gaga song that drives up your confidence. 

2. Be bold. Don't be shy about standing out or saying how you feel. Even if you sound like a complete dork at least you will come off as a confident dork. And some dork in that party will dig it :) haha. 

3. Be humorous. Nothing is sexier or more proof of confidence than a witty/funny person. 

4. Focus on your strengths and improve your weaknesses. If you are an excellent chef, smart, great basketball player, and etc capitalize on that. Take pride in what you excel at and don't be afraid to show off a little to the boys or ladies. They will secretly dig it, if it's just subtle enough. And in areas that need work find people who are experts. Talk to them, watch them, and learn. Just improving a little will boost your confidence. And your crush will notice!

5. Become less available to your crush (if you have been overlooked for awhile). You may have been at their every beck and call BUT that was the old you. New you is sexy and AWESOME. The new you is the person the crush will be asking their other unfortunate 'friend zone victims' about. 

6. Identify why you put yourself in the friend zone. Have serious heart to hearts with yourself to understand where this came from. And once you find the source/sources work to resolve and improve it. Having issues isn't a sign of weakness but not facing them is! If some of the issues are too hard to work on by yourself don't be ashamed about talking to a therapist. 

7. Put yourself first. If you are a good girl/guy DON'T be too nice. If you allow the other person to walk all over you they will lose respect. Gain your respect back. It's not about being an asshole but having self respect. A girl/guy will continue to treat you badly if you allow them to. Of course they shouldn't abuse you, but people will take advantage of a very nice person. Even friends and family will. So be assertive in every aspect of your life and in every relationship!

8. Be mysterious. Don't make it obvious that you are crazy about your crush. Make them wonder a little. Make them see that there's more to you than meets the eye. 

9. Practice, practice, practice. If you haven't mastered the art of avoiding the sink hole of the friend zone it's probably good to get some experience. It would be good to take advantage of guy/girl nights out for test runs. Get your confidence up by putting your moves to the test. Try new approaches, take suggestions, and be inventive. See what fits you and then perfect. Something doesn't work, brush it off and try something else. 

10. Believe. Have faith that you can overcome anything that you put your mind to. Same thing goes for being negative. If you believe you are a loser, then you probably will be. The mind is a powerful thing, don't underestimate what you can overcome or achieve. If you don't believe in yourself then you will set yourself up for a long life of unhappiness. 

*no sources were used in the making of this post except photos from Yahoo*

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

How to Survive a Long-Distance Relationship

As of this week, my boyfriend and I are going to be living in different states for almost 3 years! My bf landed a job in Alaska and I am staying behind, in the 'lower 48', to apply for spring 2013 nursing programs. His job will be two-three weeks on with 1-2 weeks off, which makes it easier for him to fly down and visit me. I decided not to move up to Anchorage, (before my program starts), because I need to be close for program interviews in the fall. Depending on the program I get accepted into, I will be going to school between 18 months (accelerated program for a previous bachelor's degree) or 2 years (normal duration of a nursing program). So, in conclusion we are embarking on a long distance relationship.

We've been a couple since January 2011, but the road ahead of us is miles longer than what we've covered together already. So, naturally I want to research how to survive a long distance relationship, what to expect, and how to make this work. And any advice or suggestions from experience would be greatly appreciated!

As I was reading helpful websites and articles about long distance relationships there are many things that I found extremely valuable!

*Collaboration of sources*

1. Discuss where the relationship is (exclusive, open, engaged, etc) 
2. Make it clear what will result after the time apart is finally over (who moves, where are you moving, getting married?, getting engaged?, living together?, etc)
3. Make communication consistent but not ridiculous. Keep each other in the loop of each other's lives but don't miss out on having a normal life outside the long distance relationship.
4. Set boundaries! (how many visits, who travels, where does person stay when visiting, holidays, etc)
5. Be patient and trust each other. Learn to trust the other while apart is key. Don't cause drama because you are worried or insecure. Instead find ways to work around these issues.

6. Make the time spent together count. Plan fun activities and take pictures. 
7. Be vocal about all your worries/concerns/frustrations/anger/sadness/etc. Long distance relationships are hard but the killer is lack of communication. If you talk about feelings and moods through the journey it will be easier on the both of you. 
8. Give each other a break. Which means don't get upset if you can't talk for a day or two. Don't jump to conclusions if you can't get ahold of your bf/gf. Give your sweetie the benefit of the doubt unless evidence proves otherwise.
9. Find ways to cope with your anger/frustrations/sadness/loneliness. Go to the gym, talk to your friends, pick up a new hobby, talk to a therapist, and etc. 
10. Look for the joy in each day. There will be days that are harder than others. But remember that life is more than just being with you bf/gf all the time. Take joy in hanging with friends, watching a football game, spending time with family, and etc. If you can't be happy without your love then you will miss out on life around you!

If you are going to be long distance for a few months to a few years here are some great ideas to make the time apart not so hard! Check it out!

*My ideas in blue and source in black*

1. Make each other something! My bf and I went to a cute store called Wild@Art where you paint pottery. We made a date of it and personalized mugs for each other to have while we are apart.
2. Watch movies 'together'. Watch Netflix online or on your TV the same time. Have your phone on speaker to laugh and talk along with the show.
3. Write each other letters. Old fashion but a great way for each of you to stay connected in a different way. Plus he/she will be able to read things like 'I love you' over and over again :)
4. Play a game together. Get games connected through your phone or computer that you can play like 'Words with Friends'. 
5. Cut out words from newspapers and glue them as a message in a letter to your sweetie. Make funny, strange, or heartwarming ones! Extra points would be cutting out odd articles you find and mail them to your bf/gf. 
6. Read a book together. Find a common genre you share with your sweetie and have your own weekly bookclub!
7. Create a blog or website. I'm doing this right now haha. But it's a great way to vent about frustrations and also keep your lover a click away. 
8. Send email capsules. Futureme.org allows users to send emails into the future. Just create the message and set the date. This would be helpful for date milestones. You can email wishes, hopes, and issues the two of you are facing and see if things have changed when you receive it. 
9. Make each month a certain theme. All of June you send each other pictures of cats in strange places, July email youtube videos, September try to out do each other with jokes you find online, October text a favorite memory together every day, December send each other recipes, February watch X-rated foreign films, April competition of most parks visited, and etc. 
10. Create an online calendar. Mark visit dates, unavailable dates to talk, and etc. 
11. Send pictures of you in different places and doing different activities. Take a picture walking your dog, going to the grocery store, painting your toes, cleaning the car, giving money to a bum, and etc.
12. Take online relationship quizzes together. Find silly and serious ones and laugh or 'ponder' the results.
13. Send a care package every few months. Extra points would be having odd requirements (scavenger hunt of sending something soft, something blue, something like you, and etc). 
14. Plan fun things to do together on the next visit. Researching and planning fun and exciting things will keep the wait a little bit easier. 
15. Quiz your bf/gf on yourself. Send an email with multiple choice questions! Extra points if you learn something new about your sweetie! Extra-extra points if the 'winner' takes the other one out to dinner on the next visit. 
16. Do a scavenger hunt at a Dollar Store. Have a long list to complete in 30 minutes and take pictures of the items you find. Example list:
              *something that reminds me of you
              *something that i would take camping
              *something that we have eaten together
              *something that's embarrassing 
              *something Orange
And then compare!

*sources: lovingfromadistance.com, 'how to survive a long distance relationship' by Chris Bower, '10 reasons Long-Distance Relationships are Awesome' by thestir.cafemom.com, and images from Yahoo*

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Happy Blues

Has something really good happened to you and you just don't know how to celebrate? You ace a test, get asked out by your crush, get a spontaneous raise, and etc but then you think to yourself 'now what'? Our society sanctions overt happiness being celebrated with a few alcoholic beverages. Cause what it's not okay to jump around like a little girl and kick up your heels unless you have Captain Morgan to back you up?

 I wish things in life could be like the end of a race or marathon. There are people there to cheer and you can scream 'I'm the King of the world'. Be a complete dork and bask in the glory of your success.

When something really good happens I call my Mom cause I can gloat and brag and she gets happier and happier. Then there are friends too, but sometimes they just don't get as pumped up as you are about it. So, what then? It's almost like the New Years Eve feeling you get. You know the one where it's supposed to be such an amazing night but if it's a normal party it feels incredibly lame.

My point is when I get really excited but then don't know how to express it it can turn into a real downer fast. And every time I don't celebrate my happiness to the fullest I think back to when I was going to Junior High in California.

It was the the last day of school, the older kids on the bus started handing notebooks and books to everyone. The bus driver was either quitting or just incredibly stupid because he let us throw paper and books out the windows the whole bus ride. Pushing my head out the window and throwing the leaflets out into the wind while watching all the hundreds of paper dance together behind a screaming hoard of kids felt like the perfect celebration!

So, I'm going to let the kid inside me take over for this cause of celebration. There will be screaming, maybe stuff flying, and definitely partying!


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Debunking Diet Myths

I only have a little over a month until I travel to England and I need to lose some weight! It's the same thing every year, I gain weight in the winter and then have to lose it right before bikini season hits. I am also unfortunate that I inherited genes that cause my weight to settle in my mid section and nowhere else! Whenever I hear the word muffin top, I cringe because if I let myself go that's what I'll have! There are two main types of weight gain, the first is apple (which is me - gain weight above the waist) and the second type is pear (gain weight below the waist). Most men form an apple figure when they gain weight, and most women form the pear shape. But women and men can have either type it all depends on the genes from ma and pa. So, if you HATE where you gain weight you can blame the parents! haha

I'm not a doctor or a dietician but I have the basic background of anatomy, physiology, and nutrition. The diet fads and diet myths that circulate the nation don't take a rocket scientist to debunk. However, most people have been convinced of the misconceptions that have been propagated by the media and big corporations.

Myth #1: All protein diets such as Atkins diet cause people to lose weight because there are no carbs!

         Truth: The reason people lose weight on all protein diets isn't because they cut out all other foods, but because people get sick of eating meat so they eat less. It's the same phenomenon when a person eats the same food day after day. Proteins are broken up into smaller units that can be used by our body called amino acids. Amino acids provide energy the same way that carbohydrates and fats provide. If a person were to eat more calories worth of protein then they burned off they would gain weight. The law of physics does not give a special pass for protein. Protein provides 4 calories to the gram, fats are 9 calories to the gram, and carbohydrates are 4 calories to the gram.  (alcohol is 7 calories to the gram) fyi
     However, it's beneficial to eat 'a little more' protein on a diet because it's broken down in the stomach. A little more protein in a diet will cause a person to 'feel' fuller because the stomach's main job is to break down protein. The HCl, that the parietal cells in the stomach produce, bring the pH below 2 and that's when chemical break down of proteins begins. The more protein in a diet, the longer it takes for the stomach to break down the food. 
      BUT, if a person were to only eat protein every day it would be detrimental to their health. Our body requires that we consume 50 to 150 grams of glucose (carbohydrates). Our brain is powered ONLY on glucose, so our body requires 'new' glucose from carbs each day. Amino acids cannot be converted to glucose unless they are first converted to stored fat.When our body breaks apart fat a waste product called ketones is released. Ketones in a low amount isn't harmful. But in high doses for long periods of time, such as Atkins diets, are very harmful to our body. Every successful diet results in fat being broken down and ketones as a waste product, BUT all protein diets cause higher levels than a balanced diet.

Myth #2: Carbohydrates and fats are bad and our body stores them differently.

         Truth: The key to remember is that everything is good in a balance. Our body needs nutrients/vitamins/minerals from all the food categories. If we cut out fats and carbs our body would be deficient in the nutrients they provide. Yes fats are good for us (in moderation of course) they provide for us a source of essential fatty acids. If a person is lacking in one area of the food pyramid there will be nutrition deficiencies. 
      Our body doesn't store excess amino acids (proteins), monosaccarides (carbohydrates), and or fatty acids (fats) differently. Our body uses amino acids for building and replacing our own protein in our body and anything left over is used as fuel or stored as fat. Monosaccarides and fatty acids are used as energy until we don't need them and they are stored as fat. Our body stores all excess energy as fat. There aren't any special stores of protein, fats, or carbohydrates. All three of these are converted to the same fat. If you eat a hersey's bar or a big fatty steak the place your body will store it depends on your liver. Your liver dictates where fat is stored. And fat is stored in accordance of our genes. Same with alcohol! People get 'beer bellies' because of excess energy not because of drinking alcohol.

Myth #3: Eating the same amount of food plus exercise will result in huge weight loss.

        Truth: The most important thing about losing weight is consuming less energy than you expend. The science doesn't get more complex than that. An average woman needs around 1,800 calories a day to maintain her weight. But this also changes on activity level and how old she is. Time and time again a dedicated woman will work out 2-3 hours a day and not lose weight. The reason is that she is probably consuming more food than she is working off or just breaking even. It is essential to set a diet plan before you decide on an exercise plan. I'm not a fan of exercising, especially when I'm dieting. The good news is a person can lose weight without breaking a sweat if he/she eats less.

The Diet Plan we can all work with
I've used this diet plan everytime I want to lose weight. And it works everytime! It's the old count your calories diet. It seems like a lot of work to count out and portion all your food, but it is the most effective and safest way to lose weight.

*A woman who needs about 1,800 calories a day must work on a budget of 1,000 to 1,200 calories. So, essentially cut out between 600 to 800 calories every day. 
*No restrictions on the kinds of foods one eats (but a good balance of protein, fat, fruits, vegetables, and carbs is the healthiest of course).
*The first three days are the hardest. So, portion out some dessert at the end of the day to make the diet seem not as restrictive. (I eat ice cream every day when I diet, just a small portion)
*Don't consume more calories if you work out. Instead be happy to know you are burning even more weight!
*You don't need to work-out, but you will lose weight faster if you do. Exercising will burn fat and increase your metabolism.
*You will lose between 1 to 2 pounds a week. (depending on amount of exercise)
*This diet is not harsh on your body. You will see results within a few weeks. And if you crave a certain food. Eat it. Just portion it out into your diet budget.
*You become aware of how many calories food has, so when you reach your goal you have also learned how to maintain your weight loss ( liquid diets or no carb diets don't teach people how to eat right when they are off the diet).

Good luck geting into bikini shape!!

*sources: Fundamentals of Physiology by Lauralee Sherwood,  images from Yahoo*

Friday, May 4, 2012

Are you one of 'Those Couples'...

Everyone strives to find the perfect person to spend eternity with but along the way there are the ones that didn't make the cut. No one notices more when a relationship is headed for the rocks than your friends. Your best friends will stick with you through 'thick and thin' or as I like to say through 'Dick and Ben'. But we're human, and we can't help but get irritated and sometimes downright angry at the shenanigans pulled in the not-so-perfect relationships. So, this is a tribute to the couples that drive everyone bananas.

1. MIA couple - This couple falls off the face of the Earth when they fall in love. You are glad your friend/family member is happy in their relationship, but do they really have to deport themselves to relationship island? MIA couples will strongly defend their lack of interest or time with their friends, which just causes more problems. These couples are horrible at responding to texts or answering calls, (guess they don't get service in paradise). Unfortunately, most couples that fall in this category are serial MIA participants. It's not healthy to become completely consumed with your significant other. It's essential to keep and maintain relationships with friends and have activities that don't involve your sweetie.

      - how to fix it: Designate one day out of the week to do an activity alone and or spend time with your friends. Respond to texts/calls when you get it, don't ignore them if you are a few hours or days late. Initiate communication with your friends, cause they are sick of doing all the work!

2. Hot Mess couple - This couple is glamorized in the media and on TV. They keep their 'spark' alive by getting involved in drama, fighting and making up, jealously, and pushing each other's buttons. Hot Mess couples believe that fighting strengthens their bond and keeps things interesting. They don't want a comfortable relationship; they want to have the sense of a challenge and a chase. These couples are the reason the party got interrupted, the group got kicked out of the bar, everyone missed the football game, chasing your friend through the streets, consoling her in the bathroom, yell and attack her boyfriend, and so on. No matter how much the drama/fighting escalates, these couples will act like everything is fine the next morning. Jersey shore is now only a call away with friends that fall in this category.
         - how to fix it: Keep the fighting and drama under wraps in public settings. Don't involve your friends in the drama/fighting unless you truly need them. Find healthy ways to keep things interesting in your relationship like join a club sport together, go on a road trip, and or take up a new hobby.

3. PDA couple - These couples are usually new couples but that doesn't mean they don't bug the heck out of everyone. They love displaying their happiness in public by putting on an R-rated show for everyone to see. Don't make the mistake of going on a double date with this couple because they will make even the toughest of couples feel uncomfortable and awkward. Yes we get it, you guys are crazy about each other but you are making everyone feel like they are watching a porn in action.
      - how to fix it: Keep your affection to holding hands, sweet pecks, and hugging. Everything else will cause people to avoid your company or creepy old men to watch and stare. Send sexy texts that only your lover can see, and so you can keep the fun going without other people having to watch.

4. Dysfunctional couple - This couple clearly is just living in hell. Things aren't working out but they continue dating. Their friends advise them to take a break, but they never seem to listen. It's the hardest one for friends to have to deal with. This couple causes emotional stress for everyone involved.

       -how to fix it: Get help or get out. Either get therapy or find the courage to split up. Don't involve your friends anymore than is necessary.

*No sources were used in the making of this post except the pictures from Yahoo images*

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

How to use Reverse Psychology

Using reverse psychology effectively can help a person in their love life, career, and personal interactions. I've used it from time to time especially when I'm single, but some very crafty manipulators use this tactic all the time. Just to make this clear, I'm only advocating using this technique for good reasons. A lot of sleezy guys use it to get a girl to come home with them, and so now you can also be able to identify when it's used against you! Make sure if you do already use reverse psychology or plan to that you don't overuse it because people will catch on!

Definition: Reverse psychology is saying/suggesting the opposite of the actual desired behavior you want from a person.  

Reverse psychology works for many reasons: 
first -  it makes the opposite of the suggestion more desirable because it's not available
second - the power of suggestion works best when our brain registers something it supposedly 'cannot' have
third - people naturally become the devil's advocate, and start thinking about the item/suggestion/thing that is off the table
fourth - reverse psychology can give the illusion that something/someone is rare or special
fifth - victims of reverse psychology get the illusion they are the one calling the shots
sixth - makes people feel comfortable and not feel pressured into making a decision

Most likely your parents used reverse psychology on you as a child and probably as a teenager. Looking back, my mom would cleverly convince me not to go to high school parties by saying things like, 'hmmm well okay if you don't want to do well on your test next week and spend it camping that's fine with me'. She used guilt and reverse psychology!
Some examples I thought of: 
1. The Lion King when Scar uses reverse psychology to trick Simba into going to the elephant graveyard!
2. The show, Storage Wars, one of the characters uses reverse psychology all the time to either pretend he wants to buy a certain storage unit or that he isn't interested. 

Guys will use this on girls here are some example conversations:

Girl: 'I'm sorry I'm just not ready to go home with you'
Guy: 'That's totally fine I want to take this slow I'm not ready to go any further'

Girl: 'I just got out of a 2 year relationship, I'm not ready to date'
Guy: 'I'm not even looking to hook-up, I'm just looking to make friends'

Other reverse psychology lines guys use on a girl:

'I'm not sure how I feel about you'
'I don't want to sleep with you'
'You don't want to date me'
'There's no way you'd be okay with me ______ '  - fill in the blank
'I don't want to go to guys night, I want to spend tonight with you'

So ways you can use reverse psychology to your advantage
1. When a person is on the fence about something
2. Your crush is a player
3. Your parents or siblings would never willingly do it
4. You really don't want to do something at work and there's a co-worker who might help 
5. You're trying to sell something
6. Your crush is starting to lose interest
7. Get your boyfriend to do things for you :)

*No sources were used in the making of this post except the images from Yahoo*