Monday, April 23, 2012

Tips we can learn from 'The Other Woman'

Former Senator John Edwards and the coverup over his mistress and love child, Tiger Woods and his array of porn star lovers, Bill Clinton and the Monica Lewinsky affair, Arnold Schwarzenegger's scandal with his maid and lovechild, Prince Charles and Camilla, and JFK and the sex icon Marilyn Monroe. 

Time and time again the population is shocked by public figures and their scandalous lives with women outside the marriage bed. The more famous the man the more juicy the liaison! It's not a recent phenomenon but is most likely the first gossip cavewomen whispered and scoffed about around the fire!
One only has to peer through history to see the significance of the 'other woman'. Even the bible has some good stories. For example Abraham finally taking Hagar as his mistress at the age of 86 because his wife had not yet conceived a child. This seemingly small fling brought into being the direct descendent of Muslims. Mistresses have also become stuff of legends remember Helen of Troy leaving her husband for the younger and more attractive Paris. And we all know how that story ends. To name a few more Cleopatra (not married but a mistress in her own right), Anne Boleyn (her daughter forever changed England's history 'Elizabeth I'), and King Edward VIII abdicating the throne to marry a many times over divorced American woman Wallis Simpson. 

The mistress has changed roles over the course of our history. Beginning in the 1500s mistresses started moving out of the shadows and into the spotlight of royal courts. Their need in the upper classes came from the fact that most men were not married for love. But today, men of all levels in society can marry for love but the mistress still has her day. 

What tips can a woman take from a mistress? How can a modern day woman captivate her man the way a mistress does? 

1. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Not every successful mistress through history is drop dead gorgeous. Camilla Parks is nothing in comparison to Diana's radiant beauty, but Charles only had eyes for Camilla. When King Edward VIII decided to leave his throne for a woman the main question on everyone's lips was 'she's not pretty enough why does he like her'! Louis the XIV (the sun king) had a gorgeous mistress named Louise Francoise but was replaced by a much lesser beauty (Montespan) who became his most famous and his longest reigning mistress. I could go on and on with examples in history. But my point is, that luckily for us, beauty is only a small role in what brings a man to his knees. :)

2. Intelligence. All the most successful mistresses throughout history, (not the short flings with a love child), but the reigning women were extremely witty and intelligent. A great movie which highlights this point is The Other Boleyn Girl (2008). Although the competition between the two sisters is historically incorrect it helps to show how a smarter and wittier sister beats out a more beautiful but duller counterpart. Education and interest in the arts and sciences has been a foundation for all successful mistresses. So, modern day women should never skimp out on learning and challenging their men academically. 

3. Fashion icon. Mistress Montespan to Louis the XIV bore Louis seven children during her height in power. So, she was practically pregnant for the majority of her (about) 20 year reign. To conceal her belly she wore 'flowy' dresses. They quickly became the new fashion and it was copied by all of France. Kate Middleton isn't a mistress but she's a great example of how a leading lady becomes a fashion beacon. So, a modern day woman should become an expert at dressing their body type and finding ways to show a unique sense of style.

4. Companionship. Mistresses create a special bond of friendship with their mates. It's not just their sexiness that keeps their men attached. If beauty was the only thing tying a man to a woman once a new beautiful woman walks by all would be lost. But with the successful mistresses, Angelia Jolie or Megan Foxx could walk by and he would still stick with his lady. Instead, it's the woman's ability to become an expert on her love. Many royal biographers documented how a prince or king found refugee with his mistress when he was upset or needed some entertainment. A mistress knew how to best accommodate to his every mood and how to be his best friend. However! Successful mistresses were not submissive, but in fact the majority were the king's equal and some had a more dominant personality. Don't make the mistake of being a bowing servant when you should be a strong independent woman. Men want a woman who can stand up to them not one they can stand on top of!!!

5. Fun. Every mistress knows how to make her man laugh and also knows how to throw a great party. She became irreplaceable to her king because she knew how to stir things up and create joy and fun in his life. Louis XV's mistress Madame de Pompadour was only replaced by her 20 year reign when she died. Pompadour grew strawberries in the winter for her king and would on many occasions perform a private play or hire a band to entertain him in her chambers. He was known to always wonder what Pompadour had up her sleeve and would be happy when the affairs of state were completed so he could be with his love. So, a modern day woman should find new and exciting things to do with her man. Some examples: take up a pottery class together, send him a hilarious text out of nowhere, and surprise him whenever you get the chance. 

If history and mistresses intrigue you I strongly suggest reading Sex with Kings. It's one of my favorite books!

*No sources were used in the making of this post except the examples from my source to support my ideas, and the images from Yahoo*


  1. the issue of a unique style is one I can identify with....
    your blog is intersting to read!


    1. Thanks Sylvan! The unique style is something I could improve on haha