Thursday, December 6, 2012

Which are YOU like after a Break-Up?

Doesn't it seem like the English language isn't kind to those who are single? i.e. Singles table at a wedding party, single ticket at a theater show, a single song before the party ends, cat lady, and spinster. But maybe it is merely our perception of the word and not the word itself. Like a single red rose, a single winning lottery ticket, a single brownie left on the table, and bachelor all have a completely different feeling. 
From time to time until we all meet our prince charming or princess, we will be single. Each single person reacts to singledom in a singular way (haha). This post is for all of us; because we've either been there done that or are currently there. 

Single Party Train
This single takes their new found freedom to the ultimate level. Being single means that the liver is making up for lost time and heels are being worn down. It beats sitting at home and feeling sorry for yourself but too much can be just as bad as too little. The excess men/women, alcohol, and partying are meant to drown out the feelings from the past relationship but they only numb it. Overtime a single party train comes to the end of its tracks and derails. A good group of friends and avoiding bad decisions are essential during this crazy time. The train will initially give the single a false feeling of euphoria but as it wears off the reality of baggage from the departure will set in. 

Signs you are a party train: you find more friends to keep up with your new partying schedule, you string along more than two guys/girls at a time, you wake up in a stranger's bed more than a few times in a month, you aren't tempted to call/text your ex until you are completely smashed, you tweet/facebook pictures of yourself out constantly, and the coffee isn't strong enough anymore

How to improve your singledom: Have friends that have your back and keep you from making decisions you will regret. Set limits on your partying ways. Remember that less is sometimes more. The more you hook up with lots of people the less special it feels, and then the more you will miss your ex. Instead give yourself time to heal and pursue people that are special. 

Couple Hunter
Being single is like being at the loser table again. DEFEAT is not an option. The hunt is resumed and a new gf or bf will be found within the month. Current friends, enemies, neighbors, co-workers, everyone is essentially on the list. You aren't very picky just anyone who seems to want you is good enough. But if a few are vying for you that is even better. The longer you stay in the loser table the more stressful it becomes. If the ex wants you back you are more than willing, but you'd rather find someone new. You stay clear of singles who have been single for a long time because you don't want to catch their horrible disease. Friends who are in relationships are your go-to people because you want to be part of the winners! And its not hard to start liking someone because everything becomes new and fresh again. That nerdy guy you always sat next to looks like Brad Pitt now. Or that girl who works at the front desk might as well be a model. 

Signs you are a couple hunter: permanent single people disgust you, you're not that picky, you don't have a type, you've dated friends a lot, new relationships carry only positive feelings, exes can be replaced with a new shiny relationship, you ask all your friends to set you up

How to improve your singledom: Don't be in such a rush to be a couple again. Get to know yourself instead. Figure out what you really want in a partner. And being single is not a disease but a necessary part of life. 

Negative Catch
You come out of a relationship and you see things a little too clearly. Guys/girls hitting on you are obviously flattering themselves and just want to hook up. You notice every flaw and blemish on potential suitors. Because you are newly single doesn't mean you are going to be fooled. Your expectations are up too high and the opposite sex just seems to disappoint again and again. You don't get that special feeling like you did with the last relationship. If they don't match up right away then you turn them down. You want to make a connection with someone but you know that it takes time and so dating again feels daunting. 

Signs you are a negative negotiator: You've said No to guys/girls for small reasons, you over-analyze every situation, you mentally make a list of what you like or don't like about a suitor, attractive guys/girls aren't very attractive to you

How to improve your singledom: Get to know the people before writing them off so quick, allow yourself time to become positive about dating again, surround yourself with single friends, and force yourself to go out and have fun

Solo Act
Being single again means that your whole life needs a revamp. New hairdo, lose weight, get a new job, move to a new city, and hang out with new friends. Change is embraced because it means that the old memories of the past will be flung off. You could have been a huge partier with your last boyfriend/girlfriend and now you are a dedicated worker or student. Or maybe you decide to take up a hobby that takes up all your time and money like biking or sailing. With the death of the relationship comes the rebirth of a whole new world for you. You want to explore and keep moving so that you don't have to look back. The more you feel like you achieve the more you think you have won. Climbing Mt. Everest or backpacking in Peru don't sound outlandish at all instead it seems like the perfect medicine to fill the void of a broken heart. 

Signs you are a solo act: You make rash decisions, so many changes happen in a short period of time, you re-connect with old friends, you crave to keep doing something, music/art/books all speak to you in ways they never did before, your friends are shocked with all the new changes

How to improve your singledom: No matter where you go or what you look like the issues you faced in your past relationship will eventually find their way back. Traveling the world is great but don't jeopardize your career/school. Make small changes at first like re-decorating your room or building something. It is good to keep your mind busy but remember that you will have to face things. Changing everything around you won't change what happened and what needs to change within you. 

Rooted You
You are comfortable being in a relationship and being out of one. Things have changed but you roll with the punches. You go out more then you did but you don't over do it. Small changes occur like taking a trip with your friends or getting a new haircut. You analyze what was good and what was bad in the relationship. You give yourself as much time as needed to heal and don't force yourself to go out in the dating world. People are drawn to you because you are a secure person. Finding the next bf or gf won't be hard but you you are willing to wait for a good one to come along. 

Happy Hunting Everyone! And ENJOY being single :)

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